stop calling my apartment porn island.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
