i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
