I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
