Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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