So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
