i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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