roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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