i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
