I hope mine doesn't look like that
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
