what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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