does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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