Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
