He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
