I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
