Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
