Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
