it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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