I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
