Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
