Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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