so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize