I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
