Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
