I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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