After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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