I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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