I bet he comes in French.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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