Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
