she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
