who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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