I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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