At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize