No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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