I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
