ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
