he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
