My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
