yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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