I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
