Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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