If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
