I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
its liver damage thursday
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
