quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
