Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
