So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize