you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
