ugly people sure do ruin things
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
