I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
