The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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