were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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