Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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