Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
