she looked like the before picture.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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