help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
