Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
