Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize