problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
