Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
