We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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