I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
