East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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