She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize