So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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