walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
