i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
my poor anus
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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