Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
