Already got asked if we're dating
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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