Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
