Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
