her vagine was all disorganized.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
