So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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